News Stories

Florida is the Worst State

Well, we finally did it. Florida is the worst state in America!

A list has been running around the mighty interwebs on the best and worst states in our fine union. All from a travel website called “Thrillist.”

An absolutely objective website with important articles like “18 Worst Halloween Candies Known to Man” and “Best Memes of 2018 (so Far)”.

The authors of the list used the criteria of everything or more specifically, “contributions to America, so think inventions, food/drink, somewhat productive famous people, unique physical beauty, etc.”

On the list, they don’t cite anything concrete like Bureau of Labor Statistics which state Florida is tied at number 20 with other states for lowest unemployment rate or the Bureau of Economic Analysis which shows Florida has the 4th highest GDP in the nation.

And they didn’t see NASA and SpaceX as major contributors to our country or science in general. Nah, the Florida Man Meme is the only thing they cited on their list.

So that just trumps everything! We are the worst and this is the perfect opportunity to create t-shirts, bumper stickers, bobbleheads and we can overtake New York’s number 3 spot for highest GDP!

Here’s my shirt, It’s an Alligator with a Mickey Mouse hat riding the space shuttle swinging a golf club. We can do it Florida! Let’s show those Northerners who are going to retire here that we are the absolute worst!

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